Sunday, 12 February 2017

(SAHM journey) The hardest but most beautiful part of my life

Before my memory starts to fail, I need to pen down and describe how life was like as a full time SAHM, with no help. I became one from 10 Aug 2016 - 16 Dec 2016 to be accurate. It was the hardest and toughest thing I had to do. But yet, it was a beautiful journey of much self discovery... A period when my world was just us... G, me, L and K. A phase given to me by God as a test.

To be honest, when it first began, I wasn't confident. I've always had a helper since I moved to my own place... Except for one month in April 2016 when Jo didn't come back and things went haywire. I wasn't sure if I could do it. That's why we tried sending Leia to a full day childcare which didn't work out because she hated it and I just didn't feel comfortable with how shorthanded the place was and how the teachers handled the children. 

Sometimes, I feel God really works in amazing ways. Maybe the childcare didn't work out because I was meant to take on the life changing opportunity to care for my kids and my home on my own. 

It.was.hard. Especially in the beginning when I was still learning to care for little Keira again whilst juggling Leia. I remember struggling to give BOTH of them attention when they demanded it the same time. When Leia would cry and ask me to stop carrying Keira... And I had no one to pass either kid to. And I was struggling with breastfeeding issues which thankfully I overcame with Keira! Initially, Keira wouldn't latch because my milk came in late. I persisted whilst doing mixed feeding and eventually K preferred latching to bottle feeding. Thank goodness because I did not have the bandwith to wash + sterilize bottles back then!

It.was.hard. I had to do laundry and cook lunches and do the housework, whilst surviving on minimal sleep. I was -never- so tired and exhausted in my life. I was in survival mode lol. Couldn't and didn't think much because I was just constantly doing and doing. I didn't have much time to do anything else. 

But I survived. We survived! Yay! lol. And we grew and became stronger. I learnt to handle the household chores. I learnt how to cook (shortcut meals haha). I learnt to prioritize. I learnt how to care for my kids all on my own. I learnt that I could do it. 

Looking back, I believe I was stretched beyond my limits. And I couldn't have done it without God. And without the help of close family and friends. Somehow, after the experience, I'm ever more thankful for any kind gestures or help that I get from anyone. I'm less inclined to take things for granted (although it still happens of course). 

(Baby Keira) Happy 7 months!

Well well! You're a month older my little K! My little bub is so busy testing out new solids and learning how to rock on all fours. She needs to her hand on everything! Recently, her obsession is to touch my porcelain cup whenever I'm taking a sip of water. My little cutie pie *wistful sigh*. I guess when you're a mummy, everything little thing your bub does is just special. Even when it's not your firstborn lol.

Here are her recent milestones:

- K has just learnt to get on all fours and rock back and forth like she's humping something lol. It tickles me every time she does it. I guess it's her way of learning how to crawl.

- She loves to raspberry now! Super cheeky fella. Always looking mischievous when she does it.

- Her current solid favourites are pureed apple, sweet potato and carrot + potato. My poor little one still doesn't like to drink from a bottle so I'm having difficulties feeding her water. She gets a little constipated when I give her carrot + potato probably because of the starchiness of the potato. Still trying to figure out how to overcome this!

- K has been displaying more separation anxiety than before. I've read somewhere that separation anxiety peaks at 9 months so maybe that's why -_- K alwaaaays cries when I hand her over to someone else! And she gives me the most pitiful stare. I feel like she needs to be glued to me 24/7.

Here are her recent photos!