Baby Leia milestones: Happy 4 months love!

Lil Leia turned 4 months on Monday! My sunshine baby is as cute as ever! Loveeeee her to bits.

She recently learnt a new trick and it's hilarious. I taught her how to lift her legs one day when I we had playtime on the bed. Little did I know that I'd cause her to keep doing that thereafter! Now she really loves to lift her legs in a V and hold them there lol. It's as though she's doing Pilates or yoga. She's got some really strong core muscles! Everyone at home is just so tickled seeing her do the trick. 

She can't quite flip yet... And to be honest, we still haven't been giving her much tummy time *feeling guilty* Hopefully she learns to do it soon!

Ooh and she starting to learn how to play on her own! Yesterday we left her to play on her swing and lil soft book for a whole 10 mins! She was really quite content. I recently read that solo play time is crucial for babies because it teaches them to be self reliant and to be comfortable on their own. It also helps them observe and learn from the environment at their own pace. I'm starting to let her play more on her own now... I leave her for short periods of time and always come back to reassure her. So far she seems to be doing pretty well!

Here's my darling at 4 months! (18 weeks).

(Being Mummy) Working or SAHM?

In the past, even when I was pregnant, I didn't really think about how I'd be as a mother. And what would happen after my maternity leave ends. I guess I automatically assumed that I would return to work, just like most working mothers. My own mother returned to work just 2 months after giving birth. Alternative arrangements like working part time and being a stay at home mum never crossed my mind. 

Fast forward to the present, things are so different now. I took 2 months of unpaid leave to take care of Leia and I'm really considering a part time work arrangement after that ends. It's amazing how motherhood really changes a person and her priorities. 

When I look at my lil girl, deep down, I really can't bear to just leave her at home with my helper or in laws. I can't imagine spending most of my days in the office whilst someone else is being her main caregiver. I can't stand the thought of her having a closer bond with someone else. Some people may view this as being selfish but honestly, I don't really care. She's my own flesh and blood and I think I have the right to want to protect, shelter, love and care for her. It's tough being a mother. We experience separation anxiety and the strong, intense need to be there for our children. I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way.

I guess I want to bring her up according to our way. I have much regret allowing my in laws to take care of her since she was a newborn. I appreciate their help, really. But because they spent so much time with her, they've robbed me of precious bonding time with her. They started bad habits like carrying her all the time... Bouncing her to sleep... Bringing her for walks -alot-. Things that are so difficult to undo. And they also take it for granted that they can care for her whenever they want. I understand that they are just grandparents who want to dote on their granddaughter. But there are boundaries that they should not cross. They should understand that a baby needs her mother the most. And their bond should be the closest. Grandparents play a supporting role. They shouldn't be the main caregivers. 

To be honest, I regret not being more aggressive and possessive in Leia's first few months. I wish I could have stood my ground and not allow them to hog her all the time. 

My baby's growing up... And I want to be there to witness her milestones. I want to see her smile and make her laugh. I love her laughter so so much! I know working part time means slower career progression. I'd be behind my peers in terms of earning power. It's a sacrifice I will have to make. 

I recently read an article penned by a SAHM who talks about why she doesn't regret staying home. And she wrote about how a mother can always work again if she regrets being a SAHM. But a mother who works and regrets can never get back the lost time with her children. This is so true. 

Let's see how things work out for me. In the meantime, I'm cherishing every moment with my darling Leia.

(Couple time) Working on my marriage.

Parenthood has a way of changing a couple's marriage. I guess having a baby means more responsibilities, stress, exhaustion, emotions and less time for ourselves. All this adds up and sometimes, it causes a strain in our relationship.

G and I have been undergoing alot of changes recently. We have become parents. He has a new job. I'm on maternity. We are moving house. And we're going to engage a helper. Perhaps all these combined are putting a toll on us and we're still struggling with the adjustments. I notice that we argue more now... And we're less patient with each other. We never used to speak to each other in harsh tones but now it happens occasionally. We're definitely less lovey dovey than before. We stop doing sweet things for each other. 

Thinking about this makes me upset. I'm definitely happy to have Leia but our marriage is important too. In fact, I feel that our marriage should be ranked number 1. We are best friends who fell in love and promised to love each other forever. Our love conceived our baby girl. We are supposed to make each other happy. We are going to go through all ups and downs together. I am his and he is mine. 

I guess right now Leia seems to be priority because I'm always taking care and spending time with her. I always talk about her. And while this is natural since she's our little one, maybe it's time for me to step back and let go a little. It's time for me to remember my dearest hubba who has always been there for me  and I too, want too be there for him. Time for me to remember our love for each other. Time for us to spend time with each other again like before. To do silly things... Laugh, watch shows, eat and simply just be with each other without stressing about baby, our home or other things. Time for me to stop picking on silly lil things that really don't matter but make my hubba unhappy. 

I love him so much. And it pains me to see him grow unhappy and frustrated. Just 2 days ago, my darling sent me a bouquet of flowers and it was so beautiful. It touched my heart and made me cry. His note to me reminded me of what's important:

To the love of my life:

Even though Leia might be taking the limelight, always remember that you are always my number 1. Thank you for being mine. 

These words reached out and overwhelmed me. It made me remember he's my number 1 too. He's the one I can't live without. So why aren't I cherishing every moment with him since life is so short? 

I'm writing this post as a reminder to myself to work on our marriage. Because I love him so. And I must stop being selfish and get over my silly flaws/thoughts/inclinations that slowly erodes our marriage. 

Baby Leia's milestone: 16 weeks and counting!

Last week, our little one turned 16 weeks! 

She's such a bundle of joy these days. Always giving toothless smiles and cooing away. 

And she has become so much more interactive during bathtime! In the past, she used to look around when I bathed her. Now she looks at me and keeps smiling! My heart melts everytime. Today, she even laughed! Her laugher is the best music to my ears I swear. My heart flutters like a butterfly when I hear it.

Anyways, I've recently found her tickle spot lol. She laughs when I nibble her chest, close to her right shoulder. So funny when it happens. She's a tickly cutie pie! 

(Baby Leia) First professional photoshoot!

We brought Leia for her first photoshoot last Sunday! It was awesomeeeee and we got so many cute photos. Kudos to Baby u studio for doing an amazing job. 

We got lucky really. They were recommended on the FB mums 2013 group that I joined. I checked out their portfolio + rates and booked pretty quickly! Glad I saw that post on the FB thread =D

Before the shoot, I was really quite worried. Leia can get really grouchy at times and she's not that used to strangers since we don't bring her out that much. And I was afraid the timing of the shoot would drag to her nap time which is a big no no! So we made preparations. We made sure she got plenty of sleep before we left the house.

Baby u's studio is actually located at a private, landed house near upper changi. I was quite surprised when we reached the place because I couldn't tell that it's a studio from the outside! Looks like a normal house with a family staying in it hehe. But once you step in, you know. They have a reception counter.. Clear wardrobes filled with baby and toddler costumes... And the shooting area had so many concept settings! Very very Korean style. 

The team who did our shoot was very professional. It was over in half an hour! We appreciated that they had 2 ladies who were super good with Leia. They kept trying to make her smile and laugh. Leia loved to watching and listening to them! The photographers were patient and fast in taking the right shots. They were quick thinking and knew exactly what poses and angles would work for Leia. The result? Super duper cute photos! 

We're definitely impressed by them lol. Ended up signing a package which includes 2 additional photoshoot for when she's 8 months and 1 year old. 

Here are my favorite shots from the photoshoot! 

(Repost) Baby Leia's milestone: 15 weeks now!

Here's our little one at 15 weeks! 

Leia just had her first photoshoot today and the pictures turned out sooooo awesome and cute. I go 'awwwww' everytime I look at the shots. So glad we picked Baby U studio for the shoot. Super thumbs up!

Will share some photos soon!

(Being Mummy) Baby's loving gaze.

I just latched leia to sleep. Before I concuss, I decided to document the amazing moment I had with her just before she slept.

For the first time, during her latching, Leia gazed at with the most loving eyes. And she smiled... As though she really knew I'm her mummy. And that she was happy to be in my arms. I felt so warm and fuzzy and wanted to plant so many kisses on her lol. I just wish I could video record that moment and etch it deeply in my mind so that I can replay it in the future hehe. 

I love her soooooooo much!

Baby Leia's milestone: First time reaching for toy!

Omg Leia just reached out to touch her toy! It's her first time ever! 

We put her on the baby swing and she was looking at the caterpillar plushie twirled around the swing's stand. And then it happened! She reached out to touch Mr caterpillar's face! My PILs and I totally went gaga when it happened. Kinda silly lol. It was yet another precious moment for us. 

Seeing my lil darling grow up and hit her milestones gives me immense joy. It also makes me kinda sad when I think about how I won't be there to witness all these when I do go back to work. *wistful sigh*

Anyways, here are some pictures I captured after the moment!