(Couple time) Working on my marriage.

Parenthood has a way of changing a couple's marriage. I guess having a baby means more responsibilities, stress, exhaustion, emotions and less time for ourselves. All this adds up and sometimes, it causes a strain in our relationship.

G and I have been undergoing alot of changes recently. We have become parents. He has a new job. I'm on maternity. We are moving house. And we're going to engage a helper. Perhaps all these combined are putting a toll on us and we're still struggling with the adjustments. I notice that we argue more now... And we're less patient with each other. We never used to speak to each other in harsh tones but now it happens occasionally. We're definitely less lovey dovey than before. We stop doing sweet things for each other. 

Thinking about this makes me upset. I'm definitely happy to have Leia but our marriage is important too. In fact, I feel that our marriage should be ranked number 1. We are best friends who fell in love and promised to love each other forever. Our love conceived our baby girl. We are supposed to make each other happy. We are going to go through all ups and downs together. I am his and he is mine. 

I guess right now Leia seems to be priority because I'm always taking care and spending time with her. I always talk about her. And while this is natural since she's our little one, maybe it's time for me to step back and let go a little. It's time for me to remember my dearest hubba who has always been there for me  and I too, want too be there for him. Time for me to remember our love for each other. Time for us to spend time with each other again like before. To do silly things... Laugh, watch shows, eat and simply just be with each other without stressing about baby, our home or other things. Time for me to stop picking on silly lil things that really don't matter but make my hubba unhappy. 

I love him so much. And it pains me to see him grow unhappy and frustrated. Just 2 days ago, my darling sent me a bouquet of flowers and it was so beautiful. It touched my heart and made me cry. His note to me reminded me of what's important:

To the love of my life:

Even though Leia might be taking the limelight, always remember that you are always my number 1. Thank you for being mine. 

These words reached out and overwhelmed me. It made me remember he's my number 1 too. He's the one I can't live without. So why aren't I cherishing every moment with him since life is so short? 

I'm writing this post as a reminder to myself to work on our marriage. Because I love him so. And I must stop being selfish and get over my silly flaws/thoughts/inclinations that slowly erodes our marriage.